Bull-ish Update

Light blogging as we head into the Thanksgiving holiday, but I would have been remiss if I didn’t share this amusing update in the saga of the Congressman Who Sued A Twitter Cow.

Lawyers for a witness who had been subpoenaed have moved to quash, arguing that the suit itself is without merit, but also containing one of the best sentences I’ve seen in a motion in awhile:

No reasonable person would believe that Devin Nunes’ cow actually has a Twitter account, or that the hyperbole, satire and cow-related jokes it posts are serious facts. It is self-evident that cows are domesticated livestock animals and do not have the intelligence, language, or opposable digits needed to operate a Twitter account.

I am a fan of well-deployed sarcasm in court filings, though it’s risky. Not all judges are receptive and not all humor hits as it’s supposed to. This one is subtle enough that it works.

For a master class in snarky briefs, check out this amicus curiae filing by the ACLU of West Virginia from a few years back. “You can’t sue people for being mean to you, Bob.”

You (probably) can’t sue Twitter cows for being mean to you, either, Devin, but here we are.

If you do add humor to your filings, know your audience—it may be easier to get away with it as an amici in an entertainment-industry suit (or in a motion to quash a subpoena in a fake cow suit) than in more staid litigation. Also, sadly, some people have a bigger problem with women trying to be funny,* but that’s a topic for another day.

(*Though, true story—I teach ethics CLE. Anyone who has ever attended an ethics CLE knows they are often dreadfully boring. I try to avoid that. I use humor, and usually get some good laughs, which leads to good questions and comments from the audience. But I always get that one evaluation that says something along the lines of “She thinks she’s funny but she’s not, and she’s not taking this seriously enough.” Oh well, can’t please everyone.)